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[louds]

user name: b.s.
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[louds]

Did he tell you?

[mcferrin]

He did.

[ henry could say 'i saw it' but that. doesn't seem like something she needs to know. ]

[louds]

( there's a--delay, that mostly consists of blue looking at her screen and coming up completely empty. it takes a minute, and even when she does, it's hard. )

I don't know what to do.

[mcferrin]

Hey. Listen.

You don't have to do anything, Sargent. Not a thing. You need time to feel how you feel- figure out how you feel, we all know that.

If you want me to tell you what I know, how it happened, I can. If you don't want to hear it, I won't. If you change your mind, that's fine too.

[ and if he blames her... he would understand. after all sam was his choice. and after the way he acted about bringing tommy in, when sam ended up being the danger. he already blames himself. ]

If you would rather talk to one of the others, they know as much as I do.

[louds]

I'd want to hear it from you. I don't know if I want to yet. But if I did.

I mean it's Sam.

[mcferrin]

Yeah.

It was.

[louds]

I don't know if I should talk to him.

[mcferrin]

I wish I could help you decide. I... don't know if it would make things better or worse.

If it matters he- he's very remorseful, but he doesn't seem to think he's safe to be around.

[louds]

Well I'd be pretty annoyed if he wasn't sorry.

( she attempts several follow ups to that, aborted attempts at sentences that go nowhere and get deleted as quickly as they're written, before she abandons the efforts altogether. )

Can I call you?

[mcferrin]

[ he lifts the corner of his mouth, but can't get to an actual smile. sometimes sorry isn't nearly enough.

instead of texting back, he dials up a video call. ring ring. ]

[louds]

( if it had been anyone else, she probably wouldn't have picked up a video call. she's in a weird state where she hasn't been crying but the urge isn't very far, and it probably shows. blue feels messy, and it's nothing to do with sloppily pulled back hair or pyjamas in the afternoon.

but it's henry, so she picks up without hesitation, propping the device up in front of her, and blue even smiles when she sees him. it's a faint little thing, but it's definitely there. )

Now there's a sight for sore eyes.

[mcferrin]

[ he huffs out a short almost-laugh. he still can't smile, but just seeing her he's so happy the impossible amount of fondness must be obvious on his face. ]

I love you, [ he says softly. she already knows, but he hasn't been able to tell her in so long. ]

[louds]

( god, it's a lot. there's nothing funny but blue still laughs in a way that sounds wet, rubbing her hands over her face quickly before she clears her throat. )

I love you. It feels like it's been forever since I said that.

[mcferrin]

[ her laugh sets him off and he chuckles into the sleeve of his shirt. ]

Okay well. Don't let it happen again.

[ panning the camera he shows her where he's sitting. ]

I'm reorganizing Ronan's warehouse. I swear it's going to take me like a year.

[ mostly he doesn't want her to worry about where he is or rescuing him with a contract again. he's serious about giving her time. giving them time. ]

[louds]

Oh, God. You're going to be there forever.

( the state of ronan's warehouse is a far easier topic of conversation than anything else right now — even if there's probably more that needs to be said. she's tired, tired of being sad and tired of being stressed and tired of walking around herself on eggshells. a week isn't enough time to process what happened, but it's enough time for her to decide that she wants more for herself than misery. )

Have you got a system yet or are you still working out the details?

[mcferrin]

I'm just trying to put similar things together. I think all the animals and living critters are at the Theater or the forest, but I know some things rearrange themselves when I'm not looking.

[ he swipes the back of his hand across his forehead like it's such exhausting work he can't bear it. ]

It's like they prefer chaos.

[louds]

I mean of course they prefer chaos, they're Ronan's.

( she rolls her eyes, as if the clear fondness in her voice doesn't betray her affection for him. )

How has...everyone been? Really.