louds | duplicitynet

( there's probably a lot more that needs to go into that story, he'll probably have more questions eventually, but for now at least it's enough of an achievement to have gotten the basic details out at all. blue died--was murdered, specifically--and henry was kicked out in the weeks stretched between her death and return.

but a month has passed since then, and things are still broken. blue lets gansey prise her hands back open, because there's very few things that still feel impossible when she laces her fingers through his. this can't be more impossible than an ancient, medieval quest. surely. )

I don't know how to fix it. ( she admits, and her voice is very quiet, and very small, and very unlike blue in every way. she hates asking for help, that's half the reason this situation has ended up the way it has. with the rest of the raven's at arms length, and blue here, all alone in a little cottage built by two and intended for three.

she clears her throat as if it will change anything, but it helps a small amount, because her voice is just that little bit louder when she speaks again. ) I on't know how to bring him back, the right way. I don't want him to just--agree, because I asked, because I died.

( her hands loosen, and gansey intertwines his fingers with the hand that's closest to his own. raises her other hand up, to press her palm against his cheek. offers contact, and uses the few silent moments while he's doing that to--think. to try and figure out how to clearly and concisely voice his thoughts without them coming off as rude. it wouldn't be intentional. )

Henry wouldn't do that. He wouldn't let guilt be what made his decision for him.

( gansey's certain of that, at least. )

I know my arrival here might cause some additional strain, and I am sorry for that. I want. . to talk more about what happened, but I know it might be even more difficult given everything else. Have you talked to him about it yet?

I tried, early on. It was--too soon, probably.

( back when henry was still the only one who understood the full story, and blue had opted not to hear it. when she couldn't even think about what happened without getting choked up.

the hand on her cheek helps though, and it helps even more when she closes her eyes and leans into him. it's as much about his presence as it is anything to do with what gansey is saying. sometimes, she wonders how they ever survived here without him.

...ha. )

He hasn't...asked, you know. Hasn't even mentioned it. I had to push him so much to get him to agree, the first time. He said I could give someone the spare room, and give his to--

( she is going to finish that sentence, it just takes a moment. her words catch in her throat, and blue doesn't know exactly when she started second guessing every decision of her, but she's very much over it. )

...give his to you.

I'll talk to Henry.

( at the very least, he came in time to try and assist with this. he wasn't there to help blue pick up the pieces after her untimely demise, wasn't there to prevent it, wasn't there to support henry, ronan, adam, and noah through it but he can be there to--try and resolve residual problems that have come up since.

then deal with everything else. it's easier, to put off his nerves and anxiety and focus on someone else's troubles. focus on finding solutions to theirs rather than deal with his own.

blue leans in, and gansey bridges the distance. presses a soft kiss against her cheek, just below the far corner of an eye. the scarred eye. )

We'll work through this. Together.

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